Movie of the Week III

How To Steal a Million (1966)

This is about as far as I venture from the 1930s, '40s, and '50s, which should show you how much I love this movie. Although I hate the movie poster--so mod and 1960s and not at all like the film it is supposed to be reflecting.

This movie was released in 1966, but it has the feel of a 1930s comedy. Clever, brilliant repartee between the leads (the unbelievably suave-yet-goofy Peter O'Toole and eternally elegant and very funny Audrey Hepburn), lovely sets and costumes (shot in Paris and designed by Givenchy, who did all of Hepburn's clothes after Sabrina (1954)), and a light, sort of mocking tone that makes it lots of fun to watch.

Audrey Hepburn is Nicole Bonnet, a very wealthy Parisian woman whose family has a famous art collection. Unbeknownst to the world, though, Nicole's father is an art forger so the Bonnet collection is peppered with Monsieur Bonnet's "Van Gogh's" and "Monet's." Nicole's father sticks to painting, but her grandfather was a sculptor...his "Cellini" Venus has just gone on display at a museum as the centerpiece of its "Masterpieces from French Collections" exhibition.

Enter Peter O'Toole as Simon Dermott. He is a dashing yet charmingly wimpy security expert and art-forger-catcher. He sneaks into the Bonnet mansion to test one of their paintings and Nicole catches him. She assumes he is a burglar, and he lets that assumption stand. (The first clear shot of O'Toole is a beauty--Nicole switches the lights on and he tries to hide behind the framed canvas. His amazingly blue eyes just pop next to the gold frame. Swoon.) Nicole is dialing the police when she sees which painting Simon was stealing...her father's newly finished "Van Gogh." Afraid of the publicity, she lets him go. And he convinces her to drive him home....in his car...which he tells her is stolen. She is shocked! "I can't drive a stolen car!" she says. He replies, "Same principle. Four gears forward and one reverse."

It seems that this encounter is the end of their relationship, until the museum calls to say that they will be performing a technical examination of the "Cellini" Venus. This would, of course, expose the statue as a forgery and raise questions about the entire Bonnet collection. Something must be done! So Nicole arranges a meeting with the only burglar she knows, (who isn't really a burglar), puts on a fantastic black lace gown with matching eye mask and diamond eyeshadow, and tries to convince Simon to steal the statue. (I was completely fascinated by her diamondy eyelids when I was younger. It really looks like her eyes are covered in tiny diamonds. I tried to re-create the effect when Abigail and I performed "Diamonds are Girl's Best Friend at the middle school talent show, but I ended up getting silver eyeshadow glitter in my eye and it really hurt.)

Then the fun begins.

One of my favorite things about this movie is the interactions between Simon and Nicole. Their dialogue is quick and sarcastic and clever. Some particular favorites include:

Simon: "Why must it be this particular work of art?"

Nicole: "You don't think I would steal something that didn't belong to me, do you?

Simon: "Excuse me, I spoke without thinking."

After Simon tells her he won't help her steal the statue (she has shot down his various suggestions like waiting until it is back in the Bonnet home for a nice, clean inside job, or perhaps starting at one of the smaller galleries, and "gaining confidence as we go" work their way up to the museum), she gets a little teary.

Simon: "Oh, don't you dare cry!"

Nicole: I'm not! I've got something in my eye!"

Simon: "There's nothing wrong with your eye. You're crying to try and soften me up."

Nicole: "It's not true!"

Simon: "Well, it won't work! I'm too tough!"

There is also a nice inside joke about Nicole's/Audrey's clothes. Simon asks her to try on the "scrubwoman" outfit they bought and she asks him why. He says, "Well, for one thing, it will give Givenchy the night off!" It was well known that Givenchy was Hepburn's exclusive designer, and he outdid himself on this film. Her clothes are slightly mod, as in this ridiculous but awesome driving hat and glasses that she wears for her first appearance in the film:

But the clothes are also elegant and super-chic and beautiful. Gorgeous, simple suits and dresses. All complemented by Hepburn's perfectly arranged short hair and equally perfectly black-lined eyes.

This romantic-comedy-heist is sort of a precursor to the Ocean 11 movies. Not the original with the Rat Pack but the Brad Pitt/George Clooney ones. Heist movies that are quirky-character focused and have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Without the violence and special effects, souped up mini-Coopers (though I do love those), computer hacking, tunneling through buildings, and various complicated guns and gadgets of other films in the genre. Simon and Nicole plan their heist in an afternoon and head to the museum armed with a floppy hat, chalk, a magnet, a band-aid, a bucket, a boomerang and a length of wire hidden inside Simon's tie. And instead of scooting around the city in a high speed chase, about a third of the movie takes place in a closet, but the suspense (lighthearted though it is) and the fun stays strong. It is a simple, elegant, funny, clever operation and no one dies. All of this makes it very refreshing to watch.

So, if you are in the mood of a romantic almost screwball comedy, but would like a little excitement--perhaps some art or fantastic clothes, too? And you can't go wrong with Peter O'Toole and Audrey Hepburn! Try How to Steal a Million.

Plus, this movie helped me remember the changing names of St. Petersburg for my tenth grade history exam. Simon tells Nicole that he has worked as a museum security consultant for top museums in "London, Paris, New York, even Leningrad..." So since I knew when this movie was made I knew that at least in 1966 St. Petersburg was called Leningrad. So there, parents. I wasn't just wasting brain cells on all those movies.